What are your thoughts whispering to you?
Have you ever felt like you just need some relief from your thoughts? What I mean by this is that most of us, yes even you, tend to torture ourselves with our thoughts!
In my own life, and in my work with others, I have noticed that one of the biggest sources of suffering comes from what we choose to believe about what’s going on in our lives. You see, we have absolutely no control over what happens in our lives. What we do have control over is, what we choose to believe about it, which we can one 100% control.
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
We give meaning to everything in our lives and often we tend to choose the meanings that make us most miserable!
We suffer because we hold on solidly to the belief that if our life were different in some way, or if we were different, things would be so much better!
Here’s a good example …
One of my clients was consumed with hurt and anger over a break up. A year ago, her boyfriend of two years decided that he no longer wanted to be in the relationship. They had talked about getting married and now this! She eventually discovered that her boyfriend had been dating someone else during their relationship. This devastated her.
She believed that she must be worthless. She would often say sadly “what’s wrong with me”. Thoughts like, “I’m not good enough” and “Maybe I don’t deserve to be happy” and “Maybe things would be different if I had been more attentive” consumed her.
She was miserable and depressed most of the time. Even though she was beautiful, had great personality and supportive friends, she just couldn’t seem to get out of the funk she was in. Her beliefs were keeping her stuck in a painful place. She was suffering because she believed that something was wrong with her.
We all have a tendency to question ourselves, or blame ourselves when someone abandons us in a relationship. These kinds of thoughts tend to keep us unhappy and confused. The truth is that believing thoughts that make us feel bad moves us away from trusting that the Universe, Spirit, or God is working things out for us.
I love the process of questioning beliefs because it sets us free from unnecessary pain and gets us back in touch with “what is”. One of the most powerful tools I use to question thoughts is The Work by Byron Katie.
By asking yourself the following four questions in regards to your belief, you can immediately turn your belief around so that your thoughts go in a direction that empowers you rather than making you feel powerless and miserable.
Begin by looking at the belief or thought that’s making you feel miserable about your life, and then ask yourself these four questions:
The Thought: “I’m not good enough”.
1. Is it really true? (yes or no. If no, move to 3)
2. Can you absolutely 100% know that it is true?
3. How do you react, or feel when you think that thought? (Probably doesn’t feel good)
4. Who would you be without that thought? (opens up possibility is a positive way)
**Write 5 great things about yourself**
The last step is to turn it around or shift your original disempowering belief into something that feels a lot better. Use the list of great things about yourself.
Example: I am a beautiful, kind, loving person and I deserve to be happy. I am hurting myself by continuing to think that I’m not good enough and what else I could have done. I love myself enough to be kinder to myself, to do one thing everyday that makes me happy.
Isn’t it freeing to know that you have the power to quickly eliminate your own suffering by noticing and shifting your thoughts to more empowering ones!
I encourage you to let go of your fixed beliefs about how life should be, and step into your potential for creating the life you desire just by changing what you choose to believe. Remember, you are a co-creator and the Universe is your partner.